cicilia, may I ask, where are you from? I have heard this type of story so many times, and it breaks my heart. I grew up hearing these same things, only from my mother, never from my father or grandparents. They taught me to think for myself and make something of myself so that I could be independent. Unfortunately, it is the bad things that we seem to hold onto. You sound like a very intelligent, strong woman who knows what she wants. I wish for you the strength and courage and ability to do the things you want, for yourself. ❤