I need you to repeat after me.
“This is not all on me.”
Trust me, I understand more than you’ll ever know how easy it is to take all the blame on oneself. But you were not alone in this. I really want to beat the shit out of this dude. If he ever read anything you’ve written, he KNEW what this would do to you, but was still so fucking selfish, he did it anyway.
There’s no other way to say it, it was supremely selfish on his part. He has a wife to crawl into bed with, someone to hold when things get rough. To put you in a position to want and feel all those things, with nothing to back it up, is just fucked up.
I love you dearly and reiterate, I am always here to listen, rant to, be a shoulder, or whatever you need.