I’m going to take this from another view point. But first, yes! I agree with all you’ve said!! And the musician sounds like a douche.
In my not so humble opinion, minimizing sexual acts, especially blow jobs/cunnilingus, has another purpose. I’m sure we’ve all heard, “Eatin’ ain’t cheatin’”, and other such bullshit. As long as society perpetuates this, folks will continue to think it’s perfectly okay to complete most sex acts, other than penetration of course, and still not consider themselves cheaters.
Of course, most of that only applies to men. In some circles, it’s still seen as a mark of their virility if they are fucking more than one woman at a time. But gods forbid a woman do the same.
I can promise you, if I were to go around handing out blow jobs like handshakes, I would be called a slut. If I were doing it for married men, I’d also be a homewrecker. But a man engaging with a woman outside his marriage, or hers, isn’t judged as harshly.
It all boils down to perception. And as you so eloquently put it, sex is a lot more than penis in vagina.
Thank you for sharing, as always!