I’m Looking For a Toy That Sucks (Yes, Like That)

I didn’t mean for him; I meant for me!

It’s no secret I enjoy sex. I don’t write about it as much here as I once did, since I created an anonymous account to handle all my sexy talk.

That doesn’t mean my nicer side doesn’t still feel the urge to be naughty.

Sex toys are one way to bring spice to your sex life. Whether you’re using them for solo play or with your partner, they can broaden your horizons. The second sex toy I ever owned was supposed to mimic oral sex.

It was…not good.

I don’t remember the name of the product, but it just sucked and not in any way resembling good. Emma Austin recently wrote about one she tried years ago, which sounds about as awful as the one I had, but it wasn’t the same.

After the craptastic experience I had with my first oral sex simulator, I didn’t bother trying more. Recently, I’ve wondered if the products have gotten better, considering the variety of sex toys on the market today.

When Best Vibe asked me to choose a toy to try recently, I picked something I thought would be like the sucking I like during oral sex. Licking is great, but sucking, that’s where it’s at for me.

Bonus, I could use it on my nipples or anywhere else I wanted to be sucked.

I was excited to try this new toy, as it would be something I’d never owned before, and that’s saying a lot.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the box and found this inside!

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I said I wanted something I’d never owned before and I definitely got it.

Since I have a male partner, we tested it anyway and Best Vibe is sending the toy we originally requested at a later date.

No harm, no foul.

The first thing I noticed is the heft of the item. It’s not light at all! I don’t have any experience with male masturbators and neither does my husband, so this was all new to us both.

Neither of us was sure about the clean-up involved with a toy like this, which has kept us from trying one before.

I’ll tell you, it’s a lot easier than I expected.

I took it apart before we played with it and washed it with mild soap. I didn’t bother drying it since we were planning to use it right away.

My husband was a little leary of the whole deal. He is not big into masturbating, so he wasn’t sure this toy was something that would interest him.

We love playing together and it’s easy to use this as a female-led toy, so that’s what we did.

I started out giving him a hand job, using lots of lube. Once he was ready to go, I lubed the ‘lips’ of the toy and squirted some inside for good measure.

Dry cock is not a good thing.

The toy has three buttons on the control panel. It vibrates and sucks, with the big middle button being the gas release.

We both lost it the first time I pulled the toy up.

The sucking sound is hilarious if you don’t press the gas release.

We decided at that moment to name the toy “ET”, since it kind of resembles an alien.

Yes, we’re weird.

Once we got past giggling like teenagers, he really enjoyed the toy. The combination of suction and vibration felt amazing according to him and made quick work of his erection.

It surprised him he came at all, much less fairly quickly.

Now came the clean-up.

It was simple. I had already taken the toy apart to wash it before we used it, so I knew how to do that. The easiest way to clean it is to remove the tubing and turn the toy inside out. There are a lot of nooks and crannies you want to be sure to clean well.

I left it inside out to air dry.

Overall, it is a great toy that we never would have chosen on our own, so it was a pleasant surprise all around.

We’ve used it a second time, and unfortunately, the vibrating function seems to no longer work. I’ve got a message in to the company to see if they’ll take care of it. I’ve researched and not seen any complaints about it, so I believe it’s a one-off.

I advocate being open-minded a lot, and this showed me why I need to take my advice. This toy was a lot of fun, and we’ll definitely be looking into more items in this category.

I think, therefore, I write. ccuthbertauthor@gmail.com /Posts may contain affiliate links.

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