In a World Full of Kardashians, Just Be Your Fucking Self
I’ve seen so many takes on the title of this article, but quite honestly, I prefer mine. You don’t need to be someone else rather than be like the ever present, plastic celebrities that seem to be worshipped on screen.
As difficult as it can be to figure out who we really are, deep down inside, as many years as it can take to find our true selves, it will always be infinitely easier, in the long run, to be ourselves than it will be to pretend to be someone we are not.
That last paragraph sounds a lot like the last paragraph after a long article espousing some guru shit, doesn’t it? Maybe I should back up a bit, eh?
Maybe. Or maybe I’m just in a mood. The past 11 days have been difficult in a lot of ways, good in some ways, and just fucking life in others. Finding yourself in a position of need, a position of damn near being an invalid will out your true friends/family. I already knew that from past experience. Not from getting hurt exactly, but from being down and out and no longer being in a position to help others, the way I had before.
People ghost.
What frustrates me the most isn’t the fact that people aren’t able to be helpful, my plight isn’t the plight of my fellow human. It’s my own cross to bear so to speak. I am fully aware of this and accept my place in it all. It’s the fakeness.
Hence, the title.
No matter where I have been in life, I have always done my best to be honest and real with everyone around me. Sometimes, it’s possible that I may be too blunt. I don’t intend to be mean, I really am a nice person, I’m just open and raw. And most of all, loyal.
I had to learn a long time ago that not everyone is the same. I learned this lesson, like most things in life, the hard way.
But dammit, don’t tell me you’re going to do something and not do it. Just be real with me. Tell me, hey, your situation is just too much for me to deal with. Or, I can’t be there for you. Or for fuck’s sake, even go so far as to say, you know what, you made your bed, deal with it.
I’d rather any of those, than for someone to say to me, yes, I’m here for you, I’ll help in any way that I can, then just disappear.
I had a friend here ask me in a private note why I haven’t shared my current situation on my Facebook. This is why. Honestly, I rarely share anything about my private life there anymore. My twitter is set up for my writing career and to share my articles. I am careful who I add there.
I am at the point where Medium and Twitter are the only places I share anything. These are the two communities where I feel connections to people. People I’ve never met. I’ve had one commenter here try to tell me these aren’t real connections, but he can have his opinion and I have mine.
If it were not for the people here especially over the past 11 days, I would have lost my mind. I would be in a lot worse of a position in many ways than I would be otherwise. So no, we may not know each other in person, but there is a connection, and I treasure it, more than I can ever express.
I’ve probably gone way off topic here, apologies.
I just want to be as well as I can be again, get back to writing, and be able to care for my family. I want to be myself, because it’s the only person I know how to be, yet, right now, I’m not quite sure how to even do that.
But hey, at least I’m not a Kardashian.
