It’s Crazy What Happens When You Stop Giving A Shit What People Think
If you need/want to catch up on the fun times in my life:
What Happens When You Break Your Back Against the Wall? Literally.
The temperature was a not so balmy 29 degrees and I had no business being outside, yet, I was. The food pantry opened…
And how I’m trying to laugh about it all:
So, I can’t sleep. Imagine that. I can’t seem to get comfortable. A spine brace tends to do that for ya. I really don’t recommend it. I tried taking it off, scratch that, I did convince my husband to take it off. I asked/begged for about an hour. I think he got sick of my whining. So he relented. Then my brilliant ass tried to flip over in bed.
OH MY FUCKING GOD.
I believe my scream woke the dead.
It definitely woke my husband. God help him, he’s a saint at this point.
He didn’t even say “I told you so”, but the look on his face sure said it all.
He just quietly got the brace, helped me back into the A-line shirt that’s become my uniform, poured my body back into the fucking torture device. And asked if I needed anything.
“Bullet to the head please. And don’t miss.”
He just gave me the thousand yard stare that all Marines are taught in boot camp I think. James Finn am I right? And brought me our “cocktail” of Ibuprofen, Aleve and some water to wash it down with.
He helped me to the couch, even gave me my favorite blanket that he normally wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole. It’s my NCSU one. He’s a fucking Tarholes (I mean Tarheels) fan. It’s our one thing we can’t agree on. It’s where I went to school, he’ll live, he just likes Carolina, dammit.
God I’m grouchy.
He was able to go back to sleep, thankfully. He has to get up at zero dark thirty for another 13 hours of back breaking (see what I did there) labor. My brother-in-law is staying over. He says he’s going to help me around tomorrow. I don’t know what his 4'11 90 lbs soaking wet frame is going to do, I am 5'5 and 170 lbs. He’s sweet to offer. If nothing else, he can deal with the dogs.
I feel awful, I didn’t do shit with them today, other than let them out and pray they didn’t run off and attack the neighbor. They are good girls they just hate my neighbor across the street. She’s evil anyway.
So, my mother-in-law that isn’t actually my MIL, she’s just who kind of adopted my husband, she’s actually a nice person, is who took me to my spinal consultation today. We were waiting in the lobby and this woman was sitting behind us. As I mentioned earlier, I looked a sight. It’s difficult enough to shower, which I have done, but I hadn’t washed my hair since Friday evening.
Normally, I wash it about twice a week, it’s dry and I don’t want to make it worse. Well, it needed it. Badly. I put some dry shampoo on it the other day, but I’ll admit, I really looked awful.
I’m in a spinal brace, sweats, a zip up hoodie, hair in a not sexy at all messy bun, (I can barely lift my arms that high), and yes, I did a “people of Walmart” move and wore bedroom shoes. Not intentionally. I just fucking forgot to put on real shoes because I can’t fucking bend down.
My MIL is quite a large woman and I didn’t want to ask her to do it for me, then I forgot.
So, the woman was quite loudly talking to her friend talking about how she can’t BELIEVE someone would come out in public dressed like THAT. Unwashed. Smelling badly.
Seriously? First of all. I didn’t smell badly at all. I had showered, used deodorant, and body spray. I even brushed my hair.
Plus, we’re in a spinal surgeon’s office. I assume everyone there is injured, or with someone who is. In pain. Needing to be seen to potentially have surgery. And you’re concerned about their state of dress.
Normally, I let things like that slide. Normally, for the most part anyway, I don’t care what people say about me. “What others think of you is none of your business.”
But today. Fuck that. And that’s exactly what I said. So to speak. I turned, very slowly because I’ll be damned if I was going to hurt myself further, and looked this woman directly in the eyes and told her to go fuck herself.
I wish I had been able to get a picture. She had no intention of being confronted. She thought I would just sit there and ignore her.
My MIL laughed so hard, I believe she peed herself.
The moral of the story?
I may be down, but I’m not out :)
Thank you all for your continued support, especially your amazing comments and shares.