Inside me might possibly look like the above picture, but outside me remains calm.
I have not been seriously looking for a job outside the home, as my husband’s income covers our expenses easily. However, a position that sounded interesting to me became available, and today I decided to interview for it. I guess things happen for a reason, don’t they?
My husband sent a text asking me to call him once I finished at the interview. I assumed it was so I could let him know that I was finished and heading home. He knows I have anxiety about driving somewhere I am not familiar, so this was not an unusual request. When I called, he sounded strange, but I figured he was just tired. He asked how things went and as I was telling him, he was giving me one word responses. I stopped in the middle of a sentence and asked, “What’s going on, you don’t sound right at all.”
“I’m just done. I’m done. This is such bullshit.”, he said. “Baby, I don’t know what’s bullshit, so could you maybe elaborate for me? Did something happen?”, I asked.
He proceeded to tell me that the owner of the company has declared that since no new orders have come in recently, and he is the most junior employee, she is “forced” to lay him off until new orders come in. She wouldn’t even tell him herself, she made another employee do it. He cannot file for unemployment because he’s only been there for 3 months. So as of Friday, he is without a paycheck and without a vehicle, as she is the lien holder on his Jeep and he must leave it there until he can come back to work.
Needless to say, this puts us in a really shitty position.
He is extremely pissed off and upset, and I don’t blame him. So am I, but I am trying to remain positive about everything. I know that being negative and pissy isn’t going to change anything. It will only drag us both down and make the entire situation worse.
And it is hard. Part of me just wants to curl up and cry. We have both worked so hard to get our finances in shape (and they are still not exactly there yet) and get in a position where we don’t have to worry so much. It doesn’t help that we are currently housing my in-laws (including my pregnant sister-in-law) who are adding to our expenses and not really helping. So, the foot is going to have to come down on that tonight, and I know that is not going to be pretty.
To add insult to injury, we got notice yesterday that we are being audited by mail by the IRS. It’s not a big deal, we just have to send in proof that he has the right to claim my son as a dependent, etc. But it will hold up our refund, which we definitely need, NOW. I’m sure it was just a random draw of the cards, but REALLY? Ugh.
It’s just one of those situations where a lot of shit is hitting all at once. And I feel helpless to fix any of it. And I hate that feeling. I know I can be here for him and be supportive, and I am being and will continue to be. And I’m busting my ass with my writing and other side projects trying to bring money in, but I’ve just started all of these things, so it’s not doing much, yet.
Anyone want to go in on a winning lottery ticket with me? ;)