No, it should not be conditional, ever. Even the Bible teaches this, though I couldn’t tell you where. Reading your posts about your relationship with your parents hurts me, so I can only imagine how you feel. I do not have a relationship with my mother, and I won’t again. Religion isn’t the reason, there are enough without that being added. The difference between us is, I don’t really want one with mine. Too much would have to change, on her end, for that to happen, and that will not happen in this lifetime.
It sounds like you guys have found a way to work around it, but that it’s still not exactly as you’d like. I wish for you, that they could show their pride and support, without bringing the church into the equation.