“It is the quality, rather than the quantity, that matters.” — Seneca
An article from 2017 was featured on my front page of Medium today (I have no idea if everyone’s front page is the same, I am still figuring out how all of this works) about love in this digital age. It is beautifully written and I think everyone should read it, especially if you are jaded in regard to this subject.
Dear Tinder: Thank You for Everything
An optimistic look at digital dating and the experiences it can spark for us.
I’ve done digital dating, from Tinder more recently, Plenty of Fish, all the way back to Yahoo Dating and Match. I’ve even placed an ad on Craigslist and lived. I actually met my husband via a Craigslist ad. I’ve had good and horror story experiences with the apps/services. But for all the horrible things I read and hear about digital dating, I think back to the shit shows I experienced just “regular dating” long before any of those things came on scene and honestly, they are about tit for tat.
People haven’t really changed. Not the people that are making digital dating the horror show that it can be. They were around before technology came to the point it is now. The stalkers, the bad dates, the “dick pic” guys, etc. They just have a new platform. They just have a way to be a bit bolder. But they existed long before Tinder. And for those of us who have experienced them, we now have a way to expose them faster…Social Media. In my humble opinion, that’s all that has changed.
What we don’t hear much of, are stories like this young lady’s. The good things that happen in a digital world. And not just dating. I am amazed on a daily basis the connections that I have made just since I have become a member here on Medium. I have become friends with people all over the world who have touched my life in different ways, changed my way of thinking in phenomenal ways. I have connected with forward thinkers, people who live differently than I do, people who think in different and better ways, people who make me stop and think.
For me, that’s part of what life is all about. Making connections. And it’s not for what I can get from someone, not at all. That is a bonus. I want to give whatever it is I can offer to people. The fact that I am also able to learn from them is fantastic. I say thank you more often than I say anything else, and that is wonderful as well. I love being surrounded (even digitally) by people who are as giving as I am. This is new to me, as unfortunately, I have always been surrounded mostly by takers. In the past couple of years, I have been working towards shrinking my circle, trying to ensure that I surround myself with more givers like myself. Reducing negativity, increasing positivity. And I have been able to accomplish this by expanding my digital circle of friends and connections.
So the next time you think that the digital world is too vast, and possibly a cold place, try to remember, your connections are only as close as you allow them, you are are in control of how deep they go, and more importantly, how meaningful they are.