We Need to Be Kinder to Ourselves

Chloe Cuthbert
3 min readOct 9, 2019

When it comes to self love, I’m a huge advocate.

For other people. Not so much for myself. I mean, it sounds awesome, in theory. It’s not so easy, in practice.

Spending your life being put down by those closest to you, your mother, your former husband, supposed friends, makes it difficult to see the good in yourself. I’ve never had very high self esteem. I would even venture to say that I truly don’t have much at all.

Through the years, some of the harsher things I’ve heard have stuck with me like glue, and I can’t seem to find the Goo-Gone. Sadly, I have a much harder time remembering the good things I’ve heard, though I know they are there. My current husband tells me I’m beautiful and smart. I tell him he’s delusional.

I don’t take compliments well at all.

It’s not that I don’t like to hear them, I really do. I just don’t respond well, because I always wonder why that person would say them. I’ve thought so little of myself for so long, it’s difficult for me to believe that someone else would think anything different.

Today, a fellow writer, Leslie Wibberley, posted an essay about what your future self would say to you, given the chance.

“Because saying all those horrible things about myself means that someone else doesn’t have to. And if I’m the one saying them, it doesn’t hurt as much.”

This hit home, hard. When I allow myself to think about it, this is exactly why I do it, too. I’m horrible for calling myself fat, unattractive, a bad wife, bad mother, bad friend. Deep down, I know that I’m at least partially wrong, but I feel this must be what others see when they look at me, so I say it, so they don’t need to.

It hurts less. But at the same time, more.

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Chloe Cuthbert

Available for freelance writing projects — Contact: ccuthbertauthor@gmail.com /Posts may contain affiliate links.