I’m not sure I’ve ever been happy. Fleeting moments here and there, of course. But happy as a default, not really.
The older I get, the more I’m okay with that.
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It’s what we’re all promised. I find that most people internally block the word pursuit in that statement. No one owes you happiness any more than the world owes you a living.
Our perception of what will make us happy is probably skewed as well. We scroll social networks day in and day out, following influencers, following our #goals, but all we see is what those people choose to share with the world. We don’t see the climb; we don’t see the tears; we don’t see behind the scenes.
Reality shows tried teaching us we have the right to see everything, to know everything, but they were staged as well.
You will never know every step, every moment, every failure, every triumph; except in your own life.
What I find I want more than anything is a life well-lived. Comfort. Financial stability.
Stability is the most important thing to me, not happy. If becoming more stable makes me happier as a bonus, then that’s fantastic. But happy isn’t the goal.
As an adult, I have never been sustainably stable.
There’s always been a time when something would come along and throw a wrench in the works. This is life, I accept that. However, getting to the point where one wrench doesn’t topple the entire castle would be phenomenal.
Recently, Tim Denning wrote a piece about how making $25k in a month didn’t really change anything. And I get it, I really do. I love Tim, I think he’s a fantastic person and his writing has taught me a lot. It’s a wonderful view of the world he shares in this article, but it’s not one that I can feel.
Making $25k even for two months would completely change the world for me and my family. It would go a long way towards getting us to stable. It would provide a cushion for when those inevitable wrenches show up and allow us to make changes in order to begin saving again.
To be able to sustain that kind of income per month is not even on my radar, nor do I need it to be. Sure, I won’t lie. It would be awesome. I have a bucket list of things I would love to do with that kind of money. We call it having fu*k you money in our house.
“If I had fu*k you money, I would do xyz.”
In reality, making even $2500 per month would make our household stable, so that’s my goal for this coming year. I believe if we set realistic goals for our business, which for me is writing, they are more likely to be accomplished.
I push myself to do better, do more, be more than I was yesterday.