Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way — Frank Sinatra- My Way
Looking back over my life, the few things I regret are usually coupled with times I didn’t take risks. Not physical risks so much, I did quite a bit of that when I was younger. But emotional risks.
Like Old Blue Eyes, I’ve attempted to chart my course carefully. Things have rarely ever stayed on course, but I always tried. I had an ideal in mind from a young age of what I wanted my life to look like.
From the time I learned to read essentially, I wanted to teach. No matter who asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” the answer was always the same.
“I want to be a teacher.”
I’m not a teacher, but I am an educator of sorts. When I went to college, there was one thing on my mind, money. I didn’t have any and I wanted to be sure my family was financially stable. I knew teachers didn’t make decent money, and that killed my dream.
It shouldn’t have, but I allowed it to anyway.
At the time, I was afraid to take the risk of entering into a career where I would only be able to grow so much, make so much money. Instead, I went after a degree that I thought would help me get into management, and I perceived, endless possibilities.
I was so wrong.
Fast forward many years later, and I’m still not there when it comes to financial stability. The difference between now and then, beyond the wisdom of years of experience, is that I am actively working toward my dream, in a revised version.
I have support now that I couldn’t have dreamed of all those years ago.
I struggle to say that I regret anything, because the choices we make lead us to where we are. Had I obtained that teaching degree way back then, I may never have landed where I am today.
Sure, there are things between then and now I would like to have skipped. But I can’t wish for that either. I believe any change to my past would result in changes to my present, and I wouldn’t be okay with that.
Rather than sit around regretting mistakes and choices from the past, I choose to move toward the future. I’m still not a huge risk taker, but I’m learning to open myself to new opportunities, things I may not have thought of doing before.
And that’s a risk I’m willing to take.
Thanks to Envy Writer and The Every Day Novelist for the prompt!